


Please don't say you love me

by ships18



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Sad Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 17:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7114783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ships18/pseuds/ships18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus loves Alec too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please don't say you love me

Alec knew that Magnus loved him too much. 

See, Alec himself was a very reserved and closed off man. He believed that he only felt proper love for 3 people in his life: Izzy, Max, and Jace. That was definitely good enough for Alec. Having too many people to care about was a hazard to him and those around him. he was a very protective person and being a shadow hunter you can imagine the constant threats and battles he was put under. He didn’t need another person in his life that he needed to worry about. He didn’t need to love Magnus or be in love with him.

But Alec wasn’t stupid. He knew that Magnus was in love with him. He would croon over Alec always there with sweet comments and to throw loving gestures at him such as impromptu dates and gifts. At night Magnus would say Alec’s name like a prayer; Alec would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the constant shower of affection. 

Yet he knew that he didn’t love Magnus in the same way. Yes, Magnus was his long list of firsts and would leave a lasting impression on Alec’s life but looking at the warlock left no buzzing feelings of fireworks or shortness of breath. He looked and Magnus and just felt... Magnus. There was nothing signifying love. 

There was one time when Alec came to Magnus’ apartment after a fight: bloody and bruised, but mostly just to escape the constant whine of his siblings who kept torturing him over the fact that he had missed the demon and ended up ith a dirty big cut in his side. He had knocked on the door of the warlock’s apartment greeted with the man shirtless and sleepy. The warlock had fixed him up fretting over Alec and giving him everything he asked for. They stayed on the couch that night mostly just talking, which Alec could not deny was really nice. no one at the institute really talked to him anymore either avoiding his eyes or looking at him with pride. but no one actually took the time to ask him about him. He guessed that was one of the reasons that he liked Magnus, but he knew that he didn't love him. The worst part was when he asked Alec why he had come to the apartment and not gone straight to the institute. 

Alec had looked away as he wasn’t really sure why he had come to the apartment when he could have easily gone to Taki’s too cool down over the demon fight. Yet Magnus had taken it as something different, as Alec going to the apartment for the sole purpose of seeing the man again when in fact Alec was convinced he had only come for some peace and quiet and a place to sleep. But the hope and joy and… love in Magnus’ eyes had stopped Alec from saying these things. He didn’t want to hurt the other man. He wasn't cruel.

He knew it was selfish what he was doing- he was leading him on after all. And yes Magnus had been the first person he had kissed but that didn’t mean he was going to spend the rest of his life with him!

It had all gotten rather complicated far too quickly. 

Alec didn’t love Magnus the way that he knew he should and the way that he knew Magnus wanted him too. 

But Alec also didn’t understand why he should love Magnus that way.


End file.
